FOMO - no more...

Just a brief update on my mental status. I'm proud to announce that I no longer have any cases of FOMO :) FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) is what got me to sign up for this crazy Ironman in the first place. No regrets though. I've learned so much more about myself through this 6 month process than I ever have while doing marathons, which is where I still feel my heart lies. Everyone on the T3 forum is planning their 2010 IM plans and it's not making me think twice about NOT signing up for another one. I feel like I have too much on my plate. This IM has drained me financially and my next major goal is to qualify for Boston. I'm going to concentrate on losing a few more pounds, getting more tone and lean, and building a core. I sound like a broken record, but I know I'll go faster if I can ever figure out what's going on in my head mentally with food.

I have a new respect for Ironman triathletes. I can't imagine doing another one next year. I'm not saying I don't ever want to, but I need to make sure I'm financially stable to do another one, because the costs of this one blindsided me. I also need to make sure I have a good feel for my job. We made a huge transistion last year, and we're finally getting on our feet. One more year, and I think I'll have a better grasp of my producers book of business and can better manage my time with training. Maybe 2011.. but Boston is first, and however long that takes me :)

A few weeks ago, I would have thought, "If the Ironman were tomorrow, I'd blow it out of the water." Last night, all my tapering fears are starting to set in. I went to swim workout last night, and was barely going. I was trying, and I was breathing like I was swimming all out, but my times were deathly slow. I did Cap Tex at a 1:47 pace, and last night I could only swim a 1:58.. for just 100 meters, in a freaking pool??? I sure hope this all changes on raceday because it thouroughly has me freaked out. I feel like I've neglected my running too much to focus on my cycling that I might have to crawl through the marathon. Sunday's 7 miles felt like forever, a marathon that day would have seemed impossible. 30 miles on Saturday on the bike felt ok, but the thought of going to 112 seemed insane. And then putting all three together?????

I know it's the taper, but I hate this freaking out mode I'm in. I feel full of anxiety, I can't wait to get to CdA to relax and hopefully find my MoJo :)

4 days and counting... wow.