Overwhelmed and Tired...

I made it to the core/spin class last night and was the 3rd one there :) It doesn't look like I'll ever have to worry about not getting a spot since I get off at 4:30 and have plenty of time to get there and get my spot. It was nice getting there so early. I had enough time to set my bike up without having to worry about rushing or having people stare at the new kid. Core was hard, but it's because I don't have any. The spin class seems harder than the one with Chrissie (minus the one legged stuff), but I managed to finish the class doing all the workouts, not stop and not give up on any of the parts. There was a stand up portion that even when my bike was in the hardest gear possible, I needed it to be harder because I was spinning out, so I couldn't keep spinning smoothly. All in all a good class.

Ran some errands, went to the grocery store, gassed up the car, and got home with only enough time to shower, eat, and go straight to bed. I was pooped.

Woke up at 4:30am, packed my breakfast, packed my lunch, packed my work clothes, and was off to swim class. Got lost going there, took a right on Courtyard instead of a left. Got lost AT Courtyard. You can't just walk into the pool, you have to go around the back, through doors, down hallways, up stairs and so on. So by the time I got to swim, I was pretty frustrated already. I made sure to go to one swim class before the start of the program, which I did at Lost Creek. Well, there are different layouts to the pools as I found out. I went to the farthest right lane, assuming it was the slowest. Did my warmup, then looked at the sheet to see T2. Maurice said he thought I was in the wrong lane and had me proceed under the buoys to the second to the last left lane. Long story short, I thought I was a good swimmer and was quickly slapped in the face with humble pie that I suck. I don't know ANY of the drills besides "swim" and at first I was asking Maurice, but even then all the damn drills seem the same, so my frustration just grew. Fist, DPS, ladder, kick, don't kick, paddle, side to side, 3x3x3, WTF??? I don't get them. I gave up and decided to just swim and work on my stroke that Chrissie showed me last week. I don't have all the toys you need, which was another part of my frustration, so I'm just going to have to wing it, until I can afford to go buy all the paddles, buoys and crap. It's getting too hard having to share with Adrian.

I cut the swim short by a few hundred meters, got lost trying to make it back inside and had a meltdown once I got to Adrian's to shower and change for work. I'm tired, and it's week 1. I have 23 more weeks, and actually I'm not even DONE with week 1.

My solution: I'm going to get through this week. Spend the weekend at my place and not go to Adrian's. It's such a royal pain in the ass to have a boyfriend that's allergic to your cats, hence can't come over to your place. Every weekend, I have to pack my shit and go over there. Reminder: I'm in a bad mood right now. Every weekend, I need to stop by my place to check on the cats, refill food, clean out shit box, get work clothes for Monday, etc... With this new training I'm going to have to make some changes. So this weekend, I'm staying at my place. (or so I say, I'm sure I'll miss him and go back on my word) I'm going to get ALL of my work clothes ready for the week. I'm going to lay out all my workout clothes for the week. I'm going to go to the grocery store and plan out ALL my meals for the week, make sure I have gas in my car for the week and get organized. You should see my car, it's a mess!! I know most of this frustration is not being organized, so I need to get organized if this is going to work for the next 24 weeks. I need to make a budget. I need to call AT&T and cut down some cable, since I won't be able to watch it anymore!!!!! I need to cut some bills so I can afford to do this Ironman.

So that's that. Week 1, going well from a standpoint of getting the workouts in. Not going well mentally. I've already broke down and cried and I'm so not that wuss. I need to chalk it up and realize that I'm not with Team Rogue anymore, I won't be till this is over, and I need to quit comparing my fun I had there with what I'm going through now. I need to make new friends and learn to have fun with this, because if week 1 is anything of what weeks 2-24 are going to be, I'm not going to make it.

Thanks for letting me vent.